A Foxx On Both Our Houses

Imagine you've drunk a case of extra-organic, microbrew beer, eaten an out-of-date burrito from your local Exxon and got heat stroke all on the same day. Then imagine you ended up with that special kind of semi-explosive, liquid diarrhea that churns in your gut and resembles Starbucks latte more than it does s***. Then imagine you're trapped miles away from a restroom and you get seepage. Then imagine you get home and throw your underwear into a dark corner of your closet in a fit of self-disgust. Then, finally, imagine you stumble upon said underwear several weeks later and examine the contents. You're close to imagining Virginia Foxx, the senile tw*t representing North Carolina's 5th district. This boss-eyed protoplast actually stood up in the House and said of the health reform bill:

"I believe we have more to fear from the potential of that bill passing than we do from any terrorist right now in any country."

I take it back. I'm imagining those violated, moldering underpants and I'm thinking how I could do the residents of North Carolina's 5th district a good turn and have them run for office.