Coulter Pwned By Liberal Media

"OK, Ann... tuck that wiener in a bit more and... smile."

Gotta almost feel bad for Ann Coulter. First, MSNBC bleeps him when he refers to John McCain as a douchebag (really MSNBC? The word 'douchebag' could almost have been invented for John McCain... why the bleep?). Then Big Keith refers to Coulter himself as an "asshole" in full, un-bleeped glory on Countdown. That's gotta sting...

DADT: Conservatives Think The Troops Are P*ssies

Picture courtesy of the Fried Wire archives...

John McCain is still burning up government time on the (literally) no-brainer issue of DADT. For him, repealing this dumb policy would be "premature".

Man, it really makes me laugh how conservatives like McCain push 'support our troops' into some kind of militarist religion but happily insult those same troops by projecting their own homophobic neuroses onto them. Every time some bigoted tw*t starts yapping about DADT, the implication is that the troops are just too fragile, too overly sensitive to mix it up with gays. Like they can dodge bullets, risk death every day but can't handle the idea of sharing a shower with a gay dude in case he catches a glimpse of their wiener? It's truly pathetic.

Douche bag McCain, more than anyone else, needs to man up, shut up and get psychiatric counseling instead of seeking to rationalize his own phobias by dressing them up as policy arguments. Can you imagine that Geico ad with R. Lee Ermey yelling at McCain "You know what makes me sad? You do, you homophobic jack wagon!"

Just as with racism, I no longer see the viciousness so much. Granted, I'm neither gay or non-white so I do have the luxury of detachment. But from my perspective, all I see are scared, inadequate little people who should be more pitied than despised. All these 'isms' and the 'ists' who perpetuate them are just pathetic.

More Douche-tude From The Flip Flop King

I don't know whether John McCain actually sold his soul to the devil. Or did  the devil turned him down because the thing was as worthless as a Zimbabwean dollar? Damn, here's one guy proudly and unashamedly operating on zero scruples, zero conviction, zero credibility... he's like a freaking political Prius. Lest we forget, here's Y2K McCain:

"Neither party should be defined by pandering to the outer reaches of American politics and the agents of intolerance."

Wholesome words to live by. Or not... here's McCain speaking to a recent Tea Party rally:

“You know the President says that, quote, we’re the party of no. No, we’re not the ‘party of no.’ We’re the ‘party of hell no.’”

Outer reaches? Agents of intolerance? McCain sounds less like an agent, more like a guy aiming to be regional director of the Outer Reaches branch of Intolerance, inc.

Quote of the Day

Picture courtesy of the Fried Wire archives...

Tweeteth John McCain:

Last American combat troops leave Iraq. I think President George W. Bush deserves some credit for victory.

Wha..? So it's not possible to blame Bush retroactively for anything. But we are supposed to give him credit for things that happen two years after he leaves office? Maybe if I swallowed as many old folk pills as John McCain, this might make sense. But I doubt it.

Quote of the Day

"You’re not a statesman any longer. You’re simply a political shape-shifter."

Said Republican primary rival J.D. Hayworth of John McCain in a recent televised debate. Even for career pols like Hayworth who'd literally do or say anything to get elected, it seems McCain is now officially beyond the pale. He's making sleazebags look bad.

Flip Flop And You Don't Stop... Henngggh...

If John McCain were in any way capable of embarrassment, the ridiculous old fart surely would be feeling it by now. Even as a member of the party to whom the 'flip flop' is supposed anathema, McCain seems to own more pairs than the entire populations of Vietnam and Thailand combined.

As Gawker reports, McCain has now "crossed the entire political spectrum on immigration", a mega-flip flop if you will, in an effort to stay rooted in his Senate seat. In a few short years, he's gone from working with Ted Kennedy on a bill to "move most illegal immigrants towards legality", to barking out "Finish The Dang Fence" and "No Amnesty!" like a minuteman with Tourettes.

Back in 2008, Alternet had an article entitled "John McCain - 61 Flip-Flops and Counting". God alone knows what the total is now with one presidential campaign behind him and midterms looming.

Republican Implosion Continues

I'll say it again: there is only one political party in America and that's the Dems. The Republicans have devolved into something far different and harder to define. Are they a support group for angry racists? Are they being paid by China to run the country into the ground prior to Beijing repo-ing America? Are they just the biggest corporate lobbying firm in town? Who knows. Here's a round-up of recent Republican nihilism:

John McCain supports Arizona's "Papers Please" bill while doubting it's constitutional. Like... err... it's your frigging job as a senator to defend the constitution of the United States. But not if you're a Republican.

Republicans have quietly invited the John Birch Society back into the fold after dumping them 20 years ago for being insane conspiracy-theory wackjobs. The JBS accused Eisenhower of being a communist mole and 'exposed' flouride in the water as a communist plot. But now, apparently, people William F. Buckley called "paranoid and idiotic" are conservative cool.

House Republicans have stymied the Wall Street reform bill for no apparent reason except that they're determined to screw everything Obama does irrespective of public support.

The Republican Governors Association releases a new web ad attacking Obama and glorifying Guy Fawkes - England's most famous domestic terrorist. Somehow, allusions to blowing up the government are OK with Republicans.

Just weeks after Congress passes a law to ban misleading mailers, the RNC says "f•ck that" and sends out fundraising junk mail designed to look like census forms.

So what is the point of the GOP? Like a floating turd, they just sit there... no reason, no point, no purpose beyond just existing and inviting disgust.

McCain Running On What?

McCain 2010: Reelect me and I'll do nothing.

John McCain, world's sorest loser and most petulant Senatorial man-child, is vowing to do nothing because he's mad about the healthcare bill passing. Says he "there will be no cooperation for the rest of the year." Good news in that it's better to have the old f*ck safely doing nothing at all in my opinion. But...

He's still going to be claiming his $174,000 salary and telling the people of Arizona - his bosses - that he's not going to do his job. What other job could you do get away with doing that? McCain's wife is worth millions. He has so many houses he can't even recall how many. He's 73 years-old. Just f*cking retire already.

Zen & The Art of Self-Contradiction

John McCain might be so old his passport lists Pangea as country of birth (yay, plate techtonics joke!), but that wisdom of age thing seems to be a bit hit and miss. Or is he a Zen master whose deep pronouncements sail over the heads of the average herd?

With Obama's approval rating now so low, and Palin's so inexplicably high, there's only a one point diff between the two in a hypothetical presidential race. So what does McCain say about his goofy veep pick now she's become so powerful?

"I think that Sarah Palin … has earned herself a very big place in the Republican political scene," says McCain. But he then adds "She’s irrelevant."

Very Zen. Or is McCain just being nonsensical and self-contradicting? What the hell is he talking about?

Maybe this signifies nothing more than a leading GOP'er admitting that the 'Republican scene' itself is irrelevant. Spent, used, degraded... much like himself.

McCain Voters Neutered

Men who voted for Republican John McCain in last year's US presidential election saw their testosterone levels fall significantly when they learned he had lost to Barack Obama, a study showed Thursday.

Saliva samples collected from 163 men on the evening of the election showed that voters for both McCain and Obama had similar testosterone levels when polling stations closed on the east coast, but the levels in McCain backers fell when Obama was announced as the winner.

By contrast, testosterone levels among men who voted for Obama remained stable.