Useless F*cking Tw*ts

Kent Conrad: You may take my principles but you'll never take my bichon frise!

If you need a better example of how the sacless, pointless, useless f*cking d*ckheads on the Democrat side of the aisle are pissing away their mandate and hastening their own defeat, look no further than Kent Conrad.

Conrad is the chairman of the Senate Budget Committee and a member of Obama's fiscal commission. He's also letting the Tea Party own the debate by shilling "small government" snake oil instead of standing up for responsible, effective, representative, democratic government. Conrad's been blathering in true 'bagger style about cutting services and saying "everything does have to be on the table" (except his balls because they evidently went AWOL years ago). Says he:

"This government is going to have to be smaller," Conrad said on MSNBC. "There is no option."

What's that sound? It might be 'big government' FDR rolling in his grave. It might be the 69 million people who voted for 'big government' Obama in 2008 gagging. WTF is up with this sh*t???

Instead of calling BS on the small government ranting point and reminding our hicks that government is the only thing standing between them and virtual slavery under a corporatocracy, Conrad slips on his tricornered dunce hat and starts talking like a fully paid-up 'bagger. So much for FDR spending his way out of a depression with the full weight of big government behind him. FDR might be rated #1 best prez ever by many for doing that. But not, apparently, by the current party nerds who are now rejecting his legacy and abandoning liberalism because they're too scared of the Tea Party jocks who are picking on them.

Now democrats just parrot whatever crap they think might get them reelected in their red-tinged districts back home (Conrad don't care what you want... he only cares about trying to suck up to the wingnuts at home in Dakota who'd rather chew dog sh*t than vote for a Dem anyway).

This truly is the nadir of our political evolution as a democracy and never before have two sides run at one time who deserve to win less. God help us.

A Nation of A**holes: Habitat For Inhumanity

The case of the guy in Tennessee whose house burned down because he forgot to pay some local surcharge got me thinking again about how far we've sunk. The fire crew turn out and stand by watching as the guy's house burns with three dogs and a cat inside... When this can happen, and a c*nt like Glenn Beck can come on the air and mocks the guy, there really is something broken. We truly have become a nation of a**holes. So when did the c*ntservatives who applauded this inhumane travesty finally get their way? When did common standards of decency and humanity lose their 'common' and become arguable?

Another example of us becoming a nation of a**holes who've forgotten what it is to be human: "Authorities have found the bodies of 252 illegal immigrants in the Arizona desert this year, an all-time high—even though the number of people crossing illegally is down." Thanks to those humane conservative types who obsess over 'border security' and block humanitarian efforts to provide water and shade for 'illegals'. Nice. You want to cross illegally? You die. Men. Women. Children. Conservatives don't care. Says the first commenter:

"Good-we are making progress. Maybe the next batch of them will think twice before breaking in to the country!"

Like I said, that's men, women and children dying agonizing deaths in the desert as their brains overheat and their subcutaneous fat boils... and a perfectly respectable American a**hole says good. Probably the same kind of a**hole who'd support KY libertard Rand Paul when he dribbles about wanting to screw old folks with a $2,000 Medicare deductible. Probably the same kind of guy who'd vote for a callous bitch like Sharron Angle who probably plans on harvesting the poor as Soylent Green.

Why? Why have we become a nation of a**holes? Why have so many of us been overtaken by the urge to say f*ck you to everyone else? I'm not that old, but I remember when times were better than this.

America's Volunteer Peasants

Can we just cut this "liberty" crap once and for all?

The mainstream GOP and the Teaparty nutjobs are both vehemently opposed to the idea of net neutrality protected by law. This is because it would be an "affront to free speech and free markets."

Teabagger please... you don't give a f*ck about free speech. In your world, even your own free speech plays second fiddle to the "free" market agenda. All you care about is greasing the corporate pigs by making sure as few rules as possible slow them down on their way to the trough. You don't give a flying f*ck about individual liberty or the Constitution because to you, corporate freedom to screw the public trumps individual freedom every time.

So why not be honest? Quit with the weasel words and fake populism. On net neutrality you stand for the corporations just as solidly as you did over healthcare reform. You don't believe in liberty, you believe in serfdom. You are not a citizen. You are a volunteer peasant.

Maybe my judgment is a bit harsh... so I'll make this promise: If anyone can provide me with just one example of a Republican argument favoring citizens rights over corporate rights made at any time during the last 100 years, I'll take it all back. Git Googlin' wingnuts...

Tea Bag Spastics

Jeez. Here we go again... some PAC has started a 'bagger blog (you know it's a PAC because it comes up on Google ads) entirely devoted to insulting Democrats by coining the phrase "Blue Dress Party" as a reverse homage to Clinton. Sputter they:

If the Socialist Democrats are going to call us Tea Baggers, then let us―the Tea Party Movement, the Tea Party Convention, the Tea Party Patriots, the Tea Party Express, the Tea Party Nation, the Tea Party Movement Wiki, and the Tea Party Convention Nashville―call them the Blue Dress Party―Obama's Blue Dress Party!

These dumbasses are claiming Bill Clinton started calling them teabaggers first - hence the Monica Lewinsky "Blue Dress" retaliation. Err... actually most people already know that they called themselves teabaggers first.

Is this the first time ever that so many retards have got so mad at other people for a joke they unwittingly played on themselves?

For f*ck's sake how much further do they have to go trailblazing new heights of stupid before everyone just says enough is enough, Dick Army packs up his freak show and the media quits humiliating the country by pretending these Sling Blade rejects represent middle America?

Minority-Free Tea

Gay teabaggers (remember when there was no other kind?) in lieu of racial minorities at the Tea Party Diversity rally.

Saturday's "Uni-Tea" event in Philly was supposed to show off the racial plurality and non-white supremacism of the Tea Party. Shockingly, TPM reports that the event failed in its intent. Not so much a 1970s Coke ad... more a bunch of sweaty white folks pretending not to be racist in a park. Said TPM:

It was billed as the most diverse tea party rally ever. For three hours Saturday afternoon, we waited for the diversity to show up... If you're the kind of tea partier who'd like to see that abounding not-racism result in some actual demographic diversity in the movement, the Uni-Tea rally appeared to be a borderline disaster.

Not only did black folks and Hispanics stay away in droves, not many people of any kind turned up. The 'baggers blamed "a traffic jam on I-95 for keeping people away". Err... if you say so.

Quote of the Day

"The tea party has gone to great extremes to reach out to people of color."
Teri Adams, Tea Party organizer

If that quote doesn't make whatever liquid you're ingesting shoot out your nose, you must be dead already. Remember when they "reached out" to James Clyburn by yelling nigger at him..? Is this the kind of thing she means?

Teabaggers Respond

Says Teabagging supremo Bill Hennessy:

The NAACP has decided that it’s worth time to call 20 million American patriots “racists” for advancing liberty and economic opportunity.

First off, not sure when the word "patriot" was redefined to mean tax-dodging, anti-government, pro-corporate racist. Second, if there really are 20 million of these assclowns out in the wild, then I have a 14" c*ck.

Racist F*cks & NAACP Slowpokes

The NAACP is finally calling out the Teabaggers for harboring "racist elements that are a threat to our democracy." Like... duh. Could there be anyone alive who does not recognize the racism of the 'baggers? Hell, even the f*ckwits who join them recognize it right off the bat because it's probably what attracts them to begin with. Are Teabaggers racist? Does the Pope sh*t in the woods..?

Racism exists like it always has for lower-income, lower-educated white folks who are angry, scared and harbor a frustrated sense of self-entitlement. Teabaggers are mad because America's uppity blacks finally elected their own president and snatched power from the white folks God gave it to... No fair! They want their ball back! It's racism 101. WTF else could incessant calls from a >99% white group to "take our country back" be taken to mean anyway? It's pretty obvious they want to "take it back" from whoever currently has it... and to them, that's minorities.

If a group is locked in a war against minority participation in power, it should not be considered a stretch to accuse them of racism. Since Obama got elected, the 'baggers have been doing just that: fighting a war - just like the Klan did after civil rights passed - and they're dividing their perceived enemy into groups to pick off one by one.

First there was Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae who the wingnuts would tell you blew up the entire world economy by giving out mortgages to "risky borrowers" (i.e., minorities).

Then there was the evil ACORN - a group they'd tell you exists only to help pimps, drug users and other conservative-approved minority stereotypes.

Now there's the New Black Panther Party and the Obama administration. To the 'baggers, the government itself is the ultimate community organization working to radicalize and empower minorities and the NBPP is just one of its dusky tentacles. Not even the awkward fact that it was Bush's government, not Obama's, that dropped voter intimidation charges against the NBPP kills the meme that the 'black government' DOJ was in cahoots with black racists.

There is no doubt. There is no question. These people are stone cold racist a**holes. And for the NAACP to hang back so long before calling them out is inexplicable.

Irony Alert

Drug dealers and gang members in Baltimore have been boning up on teabag theory and are using the old "your government has no jurisdiction over me" defense so beloved by libertarians, white supremacists and various gun nuts over the years. Oh the irony...

Four African American men were facing federal charges of racketeering, weapons possession, drug dealing, and five counts of first-degree murder.

Suddenly, the leader of the defendants, Willie Mitchell, a short, unremarkable looking twenty-eight-yearold with close-cropped hair, leapt from his chair, grabbed a microphone, and launched into a bizarre soliloquy.

“I am not a defendant,” Mitchell declared. “I do not have attorneys.” The court “lacks territorial jurisdiction over me,” he argued, to the amazement of his lawyers. To support these contentions, he cited decades-old acts of Congress involving the abandonment of the gold standard and the creation of the Federal Reserve.

Paging the Pauls... oops, sorry, wrong color!

Will The Republican Establishment Please Stand Up?

Everybody in the GOP is running scared of the Tea Party like it's their deranged Frankenstein monster they've lost control of. And they're really falling over themselves trying to dodge being labeled 'establishment' by the media because that word makes the monster very angry.

Even Michael Steele, RNC head and by definition as establishment as they come, is feigning 'rogue'. Said he to Neil Cavuto on F-oxymoron News:

"Have you been reading my press lately? The last thing you can say about me is that I'm part of the establishment...Please do not mix the Republican party establishment -- I don't know who that is by the way."

"You! You! You! You, you, you, you, you," exclaimed Cavuto.

Unlike those denizens of the Glenn Beck wing of the Republican nuthouse, I do believe in empathy. Gotta feel sorry for Steele... just a little. Maybe a scintilla..? Nah. F*ck it. Throw him to the monster.

Teabaggers: I Apologize

A lot of us liberal whiners unfairly label the Tea Party movement as racist. Now a leading sympathizer has come out publicly to address the issue.

The bad news? It's former Klan leader David Duke who says the Teabaggers are only trying to stop "massive non-European immigration" and "preserve our heritage, language, and culture".

Speaking as one of those slanderous liberals, all I can say is sorry. Oh how wrong I was.

Sour Grapes

Remember when wingnuts used to like government? Bigger the better as well...

America today is like living through the Salem Witch Trials. So much hysterical bullsh*t flying around, so much fear and anger... when did we all lose our damn minds en masse and become a nation of tin-foil-hatted lunatics?

Today we have teabaggers on social security, Medicare and/or unemployment railing against government spending. We have elected maniacs like Michelle Bachmann saying stuff in public that makes you seriously wonder if she could have Down syndrome (sample: "100% of our economy was private prior to September of 2008").

Then, of course, there's the usual Becks and Limp-baughs making fortunes off of angry teabgaggers and pretending they represent a broad cross-section of regular Americans. It's an interesting myth. Or should I say big fat lie? A new Quinnipiac poll shows the true diversity of the Tea Party movement:

• 74 percent are Republicans or leaning Republican;
• 16 percent are Democrats or leaning Democratic;
• 5 percent are solidly independent;
• 45 percent are men;
• 55 percent are women;
• 88 percent are white;
• 77 percent voted for Sen. John McCain in 2008;
• 15 percent voted for President Barack Obama.

I guess we haven't really been overtaken by madness. It's just the biggest case of sour grapes in history. They don't really hate government... just ones with Democrat majorities.

The Poison Party

Bart Stupak's death threat fax.

Since the healthcare bill passed, the wingnuts have ramped up the psycho to 11. A whole slew of death threats and assorted acts of vandalism have ensued - all aimed at members of the democratically elected majority party.

It's a given that psychos will be psychos and that Democrats winning elections inspires thoughts of murder and insurrection amongst many a goodly Christian patriot (remember the 90s?). But the responses of GOP leaders to the actions of their 'grassroots' are truly horrifying. Maybe the zookeepers could at least make sure the teabaggin' chimp's teaparty doesn't get too out of hand? Sadly, no.

When Rep. Tom Perriello (D-VA) voted 'yes' on healthcare, wingnuts cut the gas line under his house in the hope of blowing it up. (Only it wasn't Perriello's house - it was his brother's. Teabaggin' terrorists: just like regular terrorists only dumber.)

So what was the reaction from the Republican party nabobs to this act of terrorism? Says TPM:

National Republican Congressional Committee spokesman Andy Sere said that while his organization doesn't condone the actions of the person or people who cut a gas line at Perriello's brother's house, Perriello is not the victim.

"Central and Southside Virginians are the ones who are going to have the bear the burden of increased taxes," Sere told The Roanoke Times. "What you're seeing is a frustration among his constituents who believe he's not listening to them."

Andy Sere: official Republican party spokesman and apologist for would-be murderers who wanted to kill a guy's family for voting yes on a bill his party doesn't like. Just let that sink in for a few moments... if the hairs on the back of your neck don't stand up, you ain't paying attention.

GOP Still Loving Them Teabaggers

Those spineless moral cowards of the GOP have yet to say anything apologetic or critical of their Teabagging brownshirts. Even after publicly mocking and bullying a Parkinson's sufferer, even after yelling 'nigger' at black lawmakers, even after yelling 'faggot' at Barney Frank... they're still beyond reproach as far as Republicans are concerned.

Tweets Jim DeMint after yesterday's bigot fest in DC:

"I am grateful for the thousands of patriots who are storming the Capitol today protesting government healthcare and defending freedom. Pray."

To some extent, teabaggers know no better. They're neanderthal throwbacks. But GOP sophisticates who excuse them and drop historically loaded words like 'storming' into their tweets? Far, far worse.

Steele and Boehner might go through the motions and try to distance themselves from the Teabaggers. But when are we going to start demanding of pr*cks like DeMint that they man up and do the decent thing for once in their lives? Apologize. Denounce. Renounce.

Teabaggers: Racist, Homophobic Scum

I am sick of arguing with dumbass wingnuts who pretend there's not a racist bone in their bodies when their entire souls continue to cry out in anguish at the thought of a black man running this country. Oh no... Teabaggers are not racist. That's just a cynical liberal slur. Is it f*ck.

So, if the Teabaggers aren't racists, how would the would-be fascists of middle America explain James Clyburn, veteran black congressman from South Carolina, being called a 'nigger' by teabaggers in DC today?

Clyburn was downright incredulous, saying he had not witnessed such treatment since he was leading civil rights protests in South Carolina in the 1960s.

Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) was also called a "faggot," as protesters shouted at him "with deliberately lisp-y screams".

Yup. Teabaggers = racist, homophobic scum and a major drag on this country. Ass kickings are long overdue.

Tea Party News

Mark Williams, conservative talk radio host and spokesman for the Tea Party Express, sent an email to other leaders of the group in which he appeared to be responding to charges of racism against himself:

"Two things you can always count on: I will defend my record on race to no one (sic), under any circumstances and, I will call out any racist, any time without regard to who they are ... and that includes our half white, racist president."

So is Obama a half-white black man who hates white people? Or is he a half-black white man who hates black people? Williams previously summed up Obama as "an Indonesian Muslim turned welfare thug and a racist in chief."

I guess there's nothing half and half about Mark Williams: He's a 100%, full-blooded c*cksucker.

Bill O'Reilly's Lost Cause

Bill O'Reilly whined earlier this week about how the mainstream media was biased against the Tea Party movement because "they like to look down on the folks." Unlike those Real Americans at Fox of course...

It's hard for me to admit... but sometimes I almost like Bill O'Reilly. Kinda... He advocated universal healthcare and, even if it comes from a place of self-serving hypocrisy, he at least makes a show of sticking up for working folks. So how come he can't see the Teaparty for what it is and warn his viewers it's just another corporatist scam designed to redistribute even more wealth upwards?

Fox News' Latest Surprising Poll

Weird how Fox News might be all c*ntservative echo chamber on air, but they keep doing online polls with surprisingly non-c*ntservative results.

Last time it was Bill O'Reilly's pro-Obama poll. Now they're asking "What Do You Think The Tea Party Movement Is About?" Check the responses from visitors to Foxnews.com:


Is there hope? I'm sure the poll results aren't just me and "the infamous, deplorable" Keith Olbermann voting 50,000 times over.

Quote of The Day

"The tea partiers' tricornered hat is supposed to be a symbol of patriotism and constitutional first principles. But when you take a closer look, all you find is a helmet made of tin foil."

- David Neiwert, Crooks & Liars

Captain America v. The Teabaggers

In the latest issue of Captain America, the eponymous hero takes on some fictional Teabaggers. In one frame there was a sign saying “Tea Bag The Libs Before They Tea Bag You." And, boy, did the real Teabaggers got mad about that.

Now Fox News reports/gloats that the artwork will be altered to remove the sign in future editions after Marvel got a McArthyite earful from outraged conservatives.

Ha! How's that for those First Amendment rights the Teabaggers pretend to hold sacred? Exercise your freedom of speech. As long as you agree with us. If you don't, we'll bitch and moan and threaten boycotts til you shut up.

Just a quick thought Teabaggers: when the country is in crisis mode, it might behoove you to care more about real problems rather than what's going on in comic books. It might also be wise to be less enthusiastic about attacking Captain f*cking America and stomping on freedoms guaranteed by the American constitution when you're trying to pass yourself off as patriotic.