Random Picture of the Day

WTF is wrong with Germany (again)?

A German frozen food company hopes to raise sales with a new product: Obama fingers. The tender, fried chicken bits come with a tasty curry sauce. The company says it was unaware of the possible racist overtones of the product.

By the color of them, they could have called them Boehner fingers. But then people might have worried where they'd been... especially after reading the National Enquirer.

Malawi Bans Farting

The government of Malawi plans to punish offenders “who foul the air” in an effort to “mould responsible and ­disciplined ­citizens.” In other words, they're banning farting.

You might think Malawi would have bigger problems to tackle but, hey, at least their legislative body is actually getting stuff done.

I once flew back from Europe behind some big b*tch who literally tooted her way across the Atlantic. Much as I'd like to have seen her slapped in cuffs at the airport after 9 hours of gassy hell, I'm sure it couldn't be done here. I'm no constitutional scholar, but I'd assume letting one go would be protected under the First Amendment.

Prescient (Today's Word of The Day)

Back in 1952, Earl Warren, three-time Republican Governor of California, warned of a ‘a withering right wing’.

Way before the Tea Party was even a wicked gleam in a Koch brother's eye, way before the implementation of the Southern Strategy by the Republican Party, Warren was troubled by wingnut subversion of traditional conservatism. When asked to explain he said:

"You know the people who believe that anything that is done for them represents social progress but if it’s done for anybody else it represents socialism."

If he hadn't bought the farm in 1974, I'm sure Warren would be feeling pretty vindicated round about now. This 26-word summation (almost a proto-tweet) explains the whole gamut of wingnut philosophy: f*ck everyone else. From the 50s tighty-righties thru 'baggers yelling "Keep Your Goddamn Government Hands Off My Medicare" to all those icky little initiatives being advanced by Boehner's GOP to disadvantage just about every group but the fat, white and stupid voting block, conservative selfishness just keeps on trucking.

Everything the wingnuts represent - anti-intellectualism, anti-pragmatism, anti-pluralism, anti-populism, a feudal mindset that values the interests of the rich over the common good - it's all there, summed up in Warren's prescient words.

Farewell, Old Friend...

A new milestone... For the 2011 model year, no manufacturer selling cars in the United States offers a cassette tape player either as standard equipment or as an option on a new vehicle. The most recent choice for a factory cassette deck was the 2010 Lexus SC 430.

I can't remember the last time I listened to a tape. And the last time I used the tape player in my car was to plug in one of those cassette-shaped iPod adapters. But even so, I feel a little sad. 'Bye tangly ol' brittle plastic friend...

Stuck With Bush

A trip to Switzerland by Bush 43 has been canceled. A spokesman for the event he was due to speak at claims they feared "leftist protests would get out of hand." But I'm more inclined to believe Human Rights Watch when they say: "He's avoiding the handcuffs."

Oh well... I guess we're stuck with him. Some of us in the DFW Metroplex uncomfortably nearer than others.

Random Picture of the Day

Imagine my joy... there's a Win Blog as well as a Fail Blog!

¡Gracias!

There were power outages and rolling blackouts throughout north Texas on Tuesday and Wednesday. But now everything's cool. I wonder why? Oh... awkward:

Mexico's state electricity company on Wednesday started supplying electricity to the US state of Texas, where demand shot up amid unusually cold temperatures and caused power outages.

Man, that must chafe some freemarket hide... socialist state electricity picking up the slack in über-freemarket Texas? So how does that work, freemarketeers?

Angry & Stupid: The Conservative Thing

Some ridiculous c*nt called Tammy Bruce at Fox has caused a collective orgasm amongst the wingnuts by demanding that Obama be impeached for fomenting a Muslim Brotherhood revolution in Egypt. Oh Jeez. What will these tw*ts think of next? Seriously, someone can say this in a supposedly developed society and some people treat it seriously??? It's freaking unbelievable.

Sure, this story will soon sink like a turd... no damage done. But the depressing thing is that the idiots Bruce panders to will still be around filling the country with the sounds of their angry snorts and dragging knuckles. There are 286 supportive comments on the Fox Nation site. Sample:

"I agree with Tammy, Rep. Issa should investigate and see if Obama and some of his friends like Jodie Evans of Code Pink, domestic terrorist, Bill Ayers, and Dohrn are over there, see if SEIU, and ACORN are helping to fuel the unrest going on in Egypt. I don't trust Obama."

Again, the notion that there is an even-handed debate going on in this country is so wrong it's bizarre. Just look at what the Fox "readers" are saying... I defy you to find any liberal comments anywhere near as mentally-challenged on Huffpo or Kos. There's just regular people on one side. And cretins on the other. Angry and stupid truly is the conservative thing.

And The Winner is...

Congratulations to the Grand Resort Hotel & Convention Center, Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, winner of 2011's Top 10 Dirtiest Hotels in the U.S.:

"If you are looking for a hotel with chewing tobacco spit oozing down the halls and corridors; spiders actively making webs in every corner of your room; carpeting so greasy and dirty you wouldn't want to sit your luggage down - let alone walk around barefoot... by all means, stay at The Grand Resort."

I know I'm not entirely normal, but there's something that intrigues me about that review. It almost makes me want to stay there for the adventure.

Random Picture of the Day

God almighty, Rand Paul is full of sh*t. So how suitable they used that weird turd-like font for his click ad... along with a photo featuring Paul's trademark "baby made a boom-boom" smile. Paul's petition says he's:

"Standing with the 80% of Americans who oppose forced unionism and Big Labor's multi-billion dollar political machine."

Killing unions makes life better for workers? Excuse me while I yawn and take a short nap... I'm surprised this kind of hack corporatism didn't die with Reagan... Hell, you'd think it would have died with Warren G. Harding.

Boehner About to be Edwards'd?

When John Edwards' extra-marital escapades were first chronicled by the National Enquirer, it was pretty easy to laugh it all off as check-out tabloid crap. But that was then and this is now. After the Edwards stories proved 100% true, it'll be a lot harder for John Boehner to shake off the Enquirer's exposé of his own cheating:

The article itself is a two-page spread that features several photographs including one of Lisbeth Lyons, a lobbyist for the Printing Industries of America. Lyons is one of two women the article names as Boehner's sexual partners, the other being congressional press secretary Leigh LaMora in 1997.

Oops... the old rule applies: be careful where you park your "boehner".

Good Luck Egypt

It feels a bit stupid for this obscure blog to be wishing good luck to the people of Egypt on Mubarak's supposed last day... but I think every voice, however tiny, should be doing just that. (And best of luck to the soon-to-be-unemployed security guys who've been electrocuting Egyptian testicles for years... I'm sure the people will smile fondly on you. Not.)

Good To Know...

Thanks good people at Blatherwatch for cheering me up with the news that Glenn Beck's ratings are in free fall:

Year over year [Beck] posted the biggest loss of any cable news show averaging 1.8 million viewers, down 39% from January 2010. In 25-54 demo he dropped 48%, to 397,000.

Is America getting smarter? Maybe...

Ronald Reagan: Phony Hero

Huffpo's Robert L. Borosage does a succinct critique of Reagan and how great he wasn't. Unlike me, he's too sophisticated to break out the 'c' word... but I'll say it loud and proud: Ronald Reagan was a c*nt and probably the worst thing to hit America since Columbus imported small pox.

Take a good look at the conservative mantra that Reagan championed: less spending, low taxes, deregulation, free trade, strong military, family values. On all of these, the Gipper and conservatives got it wrong.

Less spending... Reagan doubled the military budget in peacetime (up 50 percent in real terms)... Less spending turned out to mean slash programs that support the weak and the vulnerable.

Low taxes turned into successive tax cuts for the rich.

Free trade was... for multinational companies and banks. Under Reagan, America began shipping jobs rather than goods abroad.

Deregulation gutted consumer protection, environmental protection, workplace safety and the right to organize.

Strong military entailed wasting literally hundreds of billions of dollars on weapons we did not need.

Talk about false idols. Despite all the Gipper deification by today's wingnuts, Reagan was a nothing but a phony hero, a squandered presidency and a horrible gift that just keeps giving. If you want great Republican presidents, you can look to Lincoln, Eisenhower, Obama... Hell, Reagan wasn't fit to polish even Nixon's loafers.

But maybe I miss the point. Maybe the phony hero is the perfect figurehead for a conservative movement that's always used phony values to camouflage its authentic nastiness.

Them's Some Big Balls...

One of Charlie Sheen's many pornstar pals talks of seeing "cocaine chunks the size of tennis balls" at one of his house parties. Makes me wonder who's luckier... Sheen for still being alive? Or his dealer who must be making Halliburton money?

Random Picture of the Day

Even Brad Pitt has to deal with airport security at LAX. Is it that the TSA have never heard of him? Or do they just think they're onto the ballsiest fake passport guy ever?

Big Government To The Rescue

A tribe deep in the Brazilian rain forest looks up at a passing plane and says "WTF is that?"

You could call them the world's ultimate libertarians. These stone age folk live deep in the rain forest on the Brazil-Peru border and have had no contact with the outside world. Ever. No Medicare, no Social Security, no minimum wage or Federal Reserve.... eat your heart out Rand Paul.

But thanks to the onslaught of the freemarket and the insatiable demands of the timber industry, the tribe is losing real estate and their means of survival. So now it's up to those big, bad socialists in Brasilia to help. Say they:

"These peoples have had their most fundamental rights, particularly their right to life, ignored—it is therefore crucial that we protect them."

I don't think it can be said too often that the whole "small government" libertarian shtick is a bunch of crap that makes sense only if you're i) an idiot, ii) a corporate CEO or iii) just hate everybody else. Here's one more practical demonstration.

GOP v. The American People

The conservative Heritage Foundation has written to House Oversight Committee Chairman Darrell Issa asking that he works on revoking:

• Individual health insurance mandate
• Employer health insurance mandate
• Minimum health insurance benefit standards
• All future Consumer Financial Protection Bureau regulations
• Limiting debit card fees
• Transparency for shareholders
• Credit card regulation
• Incandescent light bulb phase out
• Broader energy efficiency standards
• Fuel efficiency standards
• Carbon pollution regulation
• Auto tailpipe standard
• Renewable fuel standards
• Low-income housing promotion
• Corporate accounting requirements
• Net neutrality
• Corporate media ownership rules
• Dairy price controls
• Domestic sugar subsidization

Basically, anything that makes life tolerable for working Americans just pisses off conservatives. Will these c*cksuckers only be happy when it's the 19th century again?

Today In History

February 1 1861

Texas secedes from the Union, becoming independent once again. Since the articles of statehood passed by the U.S. Congress give Texas this right, it is perhaps the only state whose secession was legal.

To the eternal shame of Texas, Sam Houston was also ousted as governor for refusing to take an oath of loyalty to the Confederacy. (This is part of the reason I hate my ig'nant-ass neighbor from Tennessee who insists on flying the Stars n' Bars outside his house).

Let Them Eat Koch

Hundreds demonstrate outside the Rancho Las Palmas Resort where the Koch brothers held a closed retreat.

The Tea Party financing Koch brothers have been holding a retreat to discuss "strategies to promote policies that will help grow our economy, foster free enterprise and create American jobs." Yeh, right... They were joined by other such concerned citizens as Eric Cantor and Glenn Beck.

So who put these d*ckheads in charge? No, really... when a bunch of billionaires get together to spitball new ideas to derail the government, shouldn't we care? A few did.

The orderly protest, involving 800 to 1,000 people, ended after the arrest of 25 people for trespassing, according to authorities.

Not exactly Cairo. But it's a start.

Quote of The Day

"I'm Barbara Bush and I'm a New Yorker for marriage equality. New York is about fairness and equality and everyone should have the right to marry the person that they love. Join us."

Bush daughter Barbara joins other New Yorkers including Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Whoopi Goldberg, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg to call for the legalization of gay marriage. Daddy must be so proud.