Malawi Bans Farting

The government of Malawi plans to punish offenders “who foul the air” in an effort to “mould responsible and ­disciplined ­citizens.” In other words, they're banning farting.

You might think Malawi would have bigger problems to tackle but, hey, at least their legislative body is actually getting stuff done.

I once flew back from Europe behind some big b*tch who literally tooted her way across the Atlantic. Much as I'd like to have seen her slapped in cuffs at the airport after 9 hours of gassy hell, I'm sure it couldn't be done here. I'm no constitutional scholar, but I'd assume letting one go would be protected under the First Amendment.