Random Picture of the Day

Those authoritarian dweebs at Newsmax are all stoked about Reagan's 100th birthday. Oh my, it's holy Gipper year, a cause for world wide remembrance and rejoicing! But Ronald Reagan's Greatest Laughs?

In typically humorless wingnut style, the Newsmaxers appear not to realize that everybody laughed at the befuddled pr*ck, not with him back in the day.

Word of The Day

Fortunately, the Minnesota psycho who gave a bomb disguised as a sex toy to his ex for Christmas was not too hot at bomb building. No-one was hurt, Terry Allen Lester went to jail and the whole episode passed harmlessly into the odd news annals... but... dildo bomb??? There's a new and exciting term to add to the English language. Maybe a new Japanese band name? Go on, say it... dildo bomb!

Wishing a Long, Slow and Agonizing Death For Jan Brewer

There must be a special place in hell reserved for Jan Brewer... probably a corner office and a high-salary management position. This wizened sh*t condemned sick Arizonans to death by denying them health care - all on a pose of saving the state a few million bucks. So far, the death toll is two.

Brewer's first victim was a guy denied a liver transplant. Now she's killed a prospective bone marrow recipient just so those misanthropic, sun-addled farts who voted her in will approve of her "fiscal responsibility".

But let's consider the irony: Brewer's penny-ante death panels will recoup only a tiny fraction of the billions she pissed away making Arizona a sun belt version of 30s Germany with SB1070. Says Technorati:

The decision to pass anti-immigration laws by the Arizona Republican legislature will cost $752.4 million in business and tax revenue, according to an analyst for the Center for American Progress, reports Marshall Fitz and Angela Kelley. Worse, 4,236 jobs will be lost, says Hispanically Speaking News. Arizona stands to suffer economic damages which will take decades to repair.

Slow disembowelment in a maggot-infested septic tank would really be too good for Brewer.

Jeepers...

They're talking about the possibility of Batsh*t Bachmann running in 2012. Really? More hilarious than terrifying I'd say... even American voters aren't insanely self-punishing enough to elect that. My favorite thought: "Palin/Bachmann 2012 - it's a No-Brainer!"

Random Picture of the Day

New House speaker Boehner with the giant-ass comedy gavel he's chosen to use. 'Bout sums up the degree of nuance and sophistication with which he'll be approaching his new gig I'll wager. You know what they say: big gavel, small...

Texas Broke

You couldn't really find a state more tuned to "fiscal conservatism" than Texas. But we're broke. On a per-capita basis, Texas has a deficit bigger than California. Austin is currently $25 billion in the hole... way to go, conservatives! Good luck trying to blame non-existent unions and all those poor folks and oldsters who get f*ck all from the state for this one.

More Americans Off Their Meds

The guys behind the Kentucky Creationist Museum were asked their position on unicorns. Were they real? Where are they now? Shouldn't believing in unicorns be exclusively reserved for five-year-old girls? Sayeth they:

The biblical unicorn was a real animal, not an imaginary creature. ... The absence of a unicorn in the modern world should not cause us to doubt its past existence. (Think of the dodo bird. It does not exist today, but we do not doubt that it existed in the past.). ... To think of the biblical unicorn as a fantasy animal is to demean God’s Word, which is true in every detail.

You'd have to be a Christian to say something as insane as this. Otherwise you'd just come off sounding like a common or garden loon. God forbid...

The Age-old Question. Again.

Riddle me this: if free-market, do-as-thou-wilt conservatives love America, how come their 'philosophy' is killing the country they're so damn patriotic about? It's a simple question but, as yet, I've never got a straight answer. How do you reconcile the mutually exclusive interests of America with those of its corporations? According to The Economic Policy Institute you can't:

"There's a huge difference between what is good for American companies versus what is good for the American economy."

Right now, the economy is up. But US unemployment is still at 9% because CEOs have been outsourcing jobs overseas - 1.4 million last year alone - instead of employing Americans. And while consumer spending at home is still dropping, corporations are not worried because they're concentrating on emerging markets like Brazil, India and China instead.

So I guess the circle will soon be complete... The US corporations will not only be making all their sh*t overseas, they'll be selling it there too. So what happens to us luckless proles back home if actual Americans aren't part of the conservatives' beloved America and have been written out of the story? Welcome to Honduras.

Happy New Year!

Exhausted. Holidays over. Amazed that in the year 2011 we are not only still without flying cars, we can't even make it home on Continental without the f*ckers making us 5 hours late for our connection at Houston. One night in a hotel later, several hours waiting for a standby that never materialized, and we're back to Dallas in a rented Hyundai. Anyway... happy new year!