Sunday, July 10, 2011

We Are Sooooo F*cked

As a general rule of thumb, if a scenario sounds too ridiculous to be Hollywood fiction, it's probably Washington reality. Here's the plot for a conspiracy crime caper that would probably be laughed out of a pitch meeting within nanoseconds:

Picture this: the US economy is on the brink of collapse... All the politicians are talking about raising the debt ceiling to stave off disaster... But the clock's ticking fast and they can't reach agreement... oh no! The twist? Wait for this, it'll blow your mind: One of younger, hot-shot politicians keeps blocking agreements and generally sabotaging the deal because... wait for it... he's actually betting on US stock dropping because he stands to make a f*ck-off giant profit on short-selling! I see Will Arnett in the lead... Whaddaya think?

Of course, this sounds like a sh*tty movie that no-one could believe. Ridiculous right? Nope. It's current Washington reality. Just switch Will Arnett out for Eric Cantor and... ta-da!

Man, does Washington have any rules? Do we have any laws left in the whole f*cking country? I suspect there are none... maybe just a list of vague suggestions scribbled in a tranny hooker's lipstick on Antonin Scalia's vast hairy ass.


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