Cheap Hitler Comparisons? Maybe Not So Much...

Sometimes you just have to say it...

If there wasn't so much at stake in November, it would be downright funny the way 'Bagger candidates like Sharron Angle and Rand Paul seem to get more popular the less they speak. It's like folks are so desperate for a break from the 'business as usual' pols that they'll vote for anybody else - until they speak and even the dimmest voters start getting the crazy vibe off them.

Supporting a 'Bagger candidate is a lot like getting pissed off with Pep Boys and taking your car to some random guy across the street to get it fixed instead. He promises a way sweeter deal and says "yeh, stick it to the man... screw those big guys!" But then you pick your car up and realize your exhaust's been replaced with a vacuum cleaner hose and the whole engine's f*cked because the dude dropped acid and filled your gas tank with jello. Yup. The 'Baggers may seduce those who are jaded with 'business as usual'. But jumping from 'business as usual' to 'clueless lunacy' isn't really the way to go.

But watching 'Bagger candidates pop up on the news spouting ridiculous ideas gives me that same feeling I used to have about Bush: They seem dumb as rocks. But you don't get elected if you're dumb. So there must be smart guys arranging the rocks in Satan's Zen garden. With Bush, it was the Neocons and the American imperialist agenda. With the 'Baggers, it's the corporate aristocracy and their 1890s style robber baron fascism. Just as Bush was the Neocons' useful idiot, so the 'Bagger candidates are the Koch brothers' useful idiots.

So whenever you see Christine O'Donnell or Sharron Angle running away from the press like celebs fleeing the Hollywood Paparazzi, it would seem fairly reasonable to assume they've been told by their puppet masters to shut up. You can bet those egomaniacal loons would love nothing more than to rant all day long to anyone willing to listen... but they've been told to "keep schtum"... and that cute Germanism brings me right along to...

You know who else didn't like speaking too much to unscreened audiences? Yup. Said Raymond Gram Swing, a news commentator for the Mutual Broadcasting System network back in the 1930s:

“It’s well to bear in mind that Hitler never speaks at the microphone without the background of a frenzied audience. He never tries to talk quietly and persuasively to an individual listener. He talks to crowds who must give a crowds response. This is an essential of the totalitarian leadership."

Again, I'm not one for mindless Hitler comparisons. I'm not one for cheap Jeffrey Dahmer comparisons either... but if you were caught with a fridge full of brains, people would be forgiven a Dahmer reference. And there is an unmistakable whiff of Nazi M.O. about the 'Baggers. Sucks but it's true. The Nazis, just like the Tea Party, leveraged popular frustration with government and sold themselves as a fresh, new alternative. And they also carefully kept a lid on the crazy just long enough to get elected by a conservatively inclined nation not known for its love of extremists. In this respect, Sharron Angle couldn't look more Hitler-ish if she grew a mustache and had that 'one big bang in the middle of the forehead' thing going on... Cheap Nazi comparison? I'd say not so much.

A Nation of A**holes: Habitat For Inhumanity

The case of the guy in Tennessee whose house burned down because he forgot to pay some local surcharge got me thinking again about how far we've sunk. The fire crew turn out and stand by watching as the guy's house burns with three dogs and a cat inside... When this can happen, and a c*nt like Glenn Beck can come on the air and mocks the guy, there really is something broken. We truly have become a nation of a**holes. So when did the c*ntservatives who applauded this inhumane travesty finally get their way? When did common standards of decency and humanity lose their 'common' and become arguable?

Another example of us becoming a nation of a**holes who've forgotten what it is to be human: "Authorities have found the bodies of 252 illegal immigrants in the Arizona desert this year, an all-time high—even though the number of people crossing illegally is down." Thanks to those humane conservative types who obsess over 'border security' and block humanitarian efforts to provide water and shade for 'illegals'. Nice. You want to cross illegally? You die. Men. Women. Children. Conservatives don't care. Says the first commenter:

"Good-we are making progress. Maybe the next batch of them will think twice before breaking in to the country!"

Like I said, that's men, women and children dying agonizing deaths in the desert as their brains overheat and their subcutaneous fat boils... and a perfectly respectable American a**hole says good. Probably the same kind of a**hole who'd support KY libertard Rand Paul when he dribbles about wanting to screw old folks with a $2,000 Medicare deductible. Probably the same kind of guy who'd vote for a callous bitch like Sharron Angle who probably plans on harvesting the poor as Soylent Green.

Why? Why have we become a nation of a**holes? Why have so many of us been overtaken by the urge to say f*ck you to everyone else? I'm not that old, but I remember when times were better than this.

You Couldn't Make This Up...

Most times when people write "you couldn't make this up", you usually could. But this..? Are you ready for Christine O'Donnell's "Bozogate"?

Seems the nuttiest wingnut in the Tea Party fruitcake really is the daughter of Bozo The Clown:

The O'Donnell family's past claims that her father Daniel O'Donnell had worked as Bozo sparked an uprising of online commenters who insisted that no, Daniel O'Donnell was not listed on Wikipedia as having been one of the many regionally licensed Bozo the Clown TV hosts... But now [Mark Leibovich at the New York Times] has sorted things out -- Daniel O'Donnell was an occasional understudy Bozo, not a full-time holder of the Bozo mantle.

If you ain't ROTFLYAO right now at the thought that Christine O'Donnell's pa wasn't even a proper Bozo The Clown but a sub, you're probably going to vote for her. Unless you succumb to some disease contracted by licking windows that'll keep you home on election day.

Democrat Spinelessness

Jack Conway, Kentucky Democrat Senatorial candidate, running on a platform of "whatever the other guy says".

Rand Paul is running for the Senate in Kentucky on a raft of fiscally suicidal ideas that could only make sense if you wear tin foil hats and like to direct invisible traffic in the street. His Democrat challenger is thus faced with two options:

1. Do you point out the obvious absurdity of Rand Paul's positions and offer voters rational alternatives that wouldn't bankrupt the country in five minutes flat and turn us into a medieval fiefdom?

or...

2. Do you ditch your own principles and start offering the same crazy ideas as your opponent like you're Target trying to match WalMart's low, low prices across the street?

No prizes for guessing which way Jack Conway jumped.

As a species, Democrat candidates are mostly invertebrates. But Democrat candidates are also closely related to chameleons and are able to change their appearances to blend with any background. In Kentucky, for instance, Jack Conway hides himself by turning a shade of deep red and starts pushing for the extension of Bush tax cuts for everybody - even the mega-rich.

When Obama's busy asking progressives to suck it up and fight for "Democrat values", it doesn't send a particularly helpful message if Democrat candidates themselves can't even be bothered to stand up for "Democrat values".

Instead of presenting an antidote to conservatism, pussyish f*cks like Jack Conway offer only a non-brand, knock-off version of the same poison. God help us.