US Constitution Fails Beck

My oh my. Super patriot Glenn Beck loves him some US Constitution. He fawns over it on TV like a crazed stalker popping a chubby at the merest glimpse of a curlicued 'We The People'. But after that awkward First Amendment bit made it impossible for him to 'cease and desist' the site glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com, he's run to... gulp... Socialist Geneva, deep within the bosom of Marxist Europe, to ask the World Intellectual Property Organization to please close down the site instead.

Beck's hucksterish habit of forcing people to explain completely baseless charges he pulls out of his own a** inspired Isaac Eiland-Hall to create the site. He says:

"How better to give Beck a taste of his own medicine than by wondering publicly why he has never addressed the rumor that he raped and murdered a young girl in 1990? No one's saying that Beck really did it… but if he has nothing to hide, why won't he deny the tale?"

Man, that Glenn Beck. Has America ever spawned such a giant, simpering tool as he before? If IQ points were money, he'd be flat broke living in a hobo tent fashioned from his own flimsy integrity.