Monday, January 31, 2011

Grow a Pair Fox News!

Find your inner-Fox News watcher...

Fox News muppets like Sean Hannity have never met a situation they can't milk the fear out of. Neither have they ever looked at anything with a rational, objective overview. They prefer instead to just make up bullsh*t - the scarier the better.

Now it's no big news to say that FN-brand bullsh*t is like 100% corporate viagra (side effects may include a listless, paranoid lumpen proletariat). But what becomes increasingly obvious is how threadbare and pathetic their fearmongering sounds after the umpteenth go-around. It would seem to Fox and its watching herd that the appropriate response to any emerging crisis - domestic or foreign - is to crap your panties and tremble under the nearest table like a nervous chihuahua. Why? Why must we be scared of f*cking everything??? Why can't these f*cks ever man-up and allow adult, rational analysis?

Take Egypt. Real reporters on the ground tell us how the crowds are yelling "Muslim, Christian, we are all Egyptian!", how the crisis has zip to do with religion and is all about popular frustration with a dictatorial government that's long overstayed its welcome. But this populist scenario is anathema to jello-spined lickspittles like Fox who peddle useful fear for the benefit of the corporate rich. So what do they do? Ignore reality, stifle optimism and paint all news from Egypt with a thick, brown layer of fear... specifically fear of a super-Muslim takeover of an already Muslim country.

Sean Hannity is busy whining how the Muslim Brotherhood has "pretty much taken this over." and how the protests will usher in rule by "Muslim al-Qaeda types". Jeez, Hannity, what kind of p*ssy are you? Lies aside, this whole tired angle would make a five-year-old girl say "hey, Sean, it's alright... don't be scared... monsters aren't really real," as he blubs and snuffles about humus-munching boogie men.

How long will they get away with this crap before even the Foxheads grow a pair and yell "no more! I will no longer sleep with the light on!"?


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