Gallagher: The Golden Years

Remember Gallagher, the comedian who looked like a hillbilly mime and smashed watermelons with sledgehammers to, ahem, hilarious effect? Apparently he's still touring at age 63 and has unleashed his inner wingnut. The Stranger reviews one of his recent gigs where racism, homophobia and Obama Derangement Syndrome rode shotgun with the traditional fruit smashing.

"Hey, President Obama," he spits out the name like a mouthful of burning hair. "You ain't black. I don't care what you say—you're a latte. You're half whole-milk. It could be goat milk—you could be a terrorist!" I am too busy losing my mind to catch the next joke, which is about Ted Kennedy's brain cancer. Aaaaand we're off.

He opens a can of some Asian vegetable—water chestnuts, maybe—and pours that in, too. "This is the China people and queers!!!" he screams and takes his sledgehammer to the thing with a fury that is no fun at all. Wet chunks of China people and queers fly everywhere. The hateful, bitter old man laughs. I cannot believe Bill Hicks is dead and this motherf*cker is still touring.

More of a public warning than a review. I knew Gallagher sucked. But not that hard.