Show Them Milquetoast Teabaggers How It's Done, Neal Horsley!

American politics is currently dominated by teabagger-appeasing pols busily tapping the anger of morons for political capital. Today, conservative = angry and the politicians are riding that horse until it drops.

But are wingnut lunatics like Michele Bachmann and her ilk really insane? Nah. They all lack that certain 'je ne sais quoi'... that uncompromising realness that distinguishes true loons from the poseurs.

Sure Bachmann talks a good game. But ultimately, she's just a poseur who latched onto wingnuttery to boost her sagging ratings. She's no mentalist. If she was, she would laugh in the face of approval. Limp-baugh? Same. Beck? Ditto.

For real political lunatics you need to look to people like Neal Horsley. He's a genuine, 100% FDA-approved free-range maniac with a resume covering everything from domestic terrorism, self-admitted bestiality, running for governor on a plank of re-fighting the civil war with nuclear weapons, and wearing pink shirts. Jeepers!

This week Horsley's in jail for going Taliban on Elton John after the flamboyant popster said he believed Jesus was gay. Horsley began picketing Elton John's condo with a placard saying "Elton John Must Die" and put up a blog with the same name. He was then charged with "terroristic threats, criminal defamation and using the Internet to disseminate threats". Eat that, Bachmann!

But, as with every crazy person news story, the last sentence is always the punchline:

Horsley has established a gubernatorial campaign office in Carrollton but has not yet filed any paperwork with the state Ethics Commission to run for governor in 2010.

Neal Horsley for Governor?! There's yer real, no-nonsense conservative candidate.

(Related: Woah, Nelly! Guess Who's Back?)