When Writers Attack

Sometimes folks criticize me for my adjective-heavy writing style and my penchant for fancy words. But when did it become a crime to love the language? It kinda reminds me of a scene in Mike Judge's movie 'Idiocracy' where one guy says to another "Why do you keep trying to read that word? Are you a fag or something?" There ain't nothing wrong with words!

But there are limits. And one of those limits has clearly been breached by the guy at the Miami News who writes local news articles like he's started work on his first novel. When your gig is churning out words at five cents a pop for your local paper, you sound nuts coming off like Mickey Spillane meets Albert Camus. Check today's story entitled "Golf porn on ritzy Fisher Island" and remember this is a local newspaper story:

"Quintana's salt-and-pepper hair is a mess, his green eyes flicker wildly, and spittle foams from the sides of his mouth. The real estate speculator has just been officially informed he is banned from entering the Fisher Island Club — the lynchpin of society here."

And

"Tony applies baby oil to Devon's buttocks for five minutes. They then go inside and run through the usual battery of positions, with only a thin white towel separating their carnal intermingling from Quintana's brown suede couch and matching chaise lounge."

Phew. They don't write 'em like that these days. But there's a reason for that.