No-one gives a f*ck what you look like dancing. The pressure's off.
You can nap whenever you want without making people suspect you're stoned or drunk.
Sex is like a rerun of a favorite show - you don't expect it to be on but you're happy when it is.
You have the authority to be a dick without necessarily getting your ass kicked.
Eight dollar jeans look good.
Your dreams are pre-crushed.
You don't expect to get anything worth sh*t for Christmas or birthdays.
Getting carded for beer can make you smile for a day.
People are impressed that you used to use a Macintosh SE. You are a pioneer.
If you go to jail, no-one wants to fight you and your bunghole will remain inviolate.
You can make cute lists like this that other old folks will email to each other. It's old-school Twitter.
Would any chronologically challenged readers care to contribute?
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