Great News For Democrats

Insane wingnut slattern and queen of the Birther nuts Orly Taitz is actually within clawing distance of winning the GOP primary tomorrow for California secretary of state. I wish her the best of luck. Nothing short of a new form of AIDs spread exclusively by transvestite hookers could be scarier news for Republicans. Orly Taitz. California Secretary of State. Can you even read that without laughing?

Racist Crackers

"Yay... free Graham crackers! It's like Kwanzaa in June..."

WFAA-TV Dallas/Fort Worth tells us about a recent 18-wheeler wreck on the freeway in Dallas that left a trailer full of of Graham crackers littering the shoulder. Then everyone for miles around shows up to cart away the booty like it's an old-timey shipwreck. There were white folks, black folks, Asians, Hispanics all loading up... But guess who the news cameras zoom right in on?

Because our racist-ass media still enjoys pushing the "black looter" stereotype, they choose only to interview and film black people stashing freebie crackers in the backs of their cars. Note also the totally random choice of image to illustrate the embedded video link.... how the cropping looks like she might be waving stolen stuff triumphantly in the air rather than just shutting the trunk of her car...

So who the hell is this kind of nasty, antebellum bullsh*t supposed to benefit? All it does is encourage racists to post comments about 'freeloading blacks' and validate their twisted assumptions that being black makes you stupider and less moral. F*ck you, WFAA-TV Dalls/Fort Worth. Racist crackers indeed.

Today's GOP Hissy Fit

Paul McCartney accepts the Gershwin prize in DC

Said The Washington Post:

"In a few short years, they changed the way we heard music," Obama said of the Beatles before presenting McCartney with the prize. He added that he was "grateful that a young Englishman shared his dreams with us."

But then it all went awry for the wingnuts...

During his acceptance speech, McCartney joked “after the last eight years, it’s great to have a President who knows what a library is," c*ntservatives went into fake outrage mode as usual.

John Boehner said "I hope he'll apologize to the American people for his conduct". Wha..?

As usual, Republicans pretend it's the American people, not them, who are offended whenever anyone pricks their notoriously thin skin. Talk about presumption verging on psychological projection.

How f*cking dare John Boehner equate the mores of his tawdry minority cult with the majority values of the American people. How f*cking dare he imply bad-mouthing Bush somehow oversteps the line of community decency and offends Americans in general.

Maybe one day we can declare a ban on pols using the term 'American people' in every statement as shorthand for 'this is my dumb opinion but I'm trying to make you think everyone agrees with me'?

Random Phenomenon of The Day

Ever notice whenever a character in a TV show or movie reads a newspaper, it's always the same one? Me neither. But it's true.

Nobody's sure whether the same prop newspaper has been used over and over for decades because prop masters are cheap, or if they're playing a big running joke only TV fanatics on Ritalin would spot. Either way, it's a fascinating phenomenon.

As a neat example, here's Ed O'Neill reading the infamous recurring paper as Al Bundy in 'Married With Children'. Then, a couple of decades later, here he is again reading it in a scene from 'Modern Family':


Weird huh? More...

Class Act

South Carolina State Senator Jake Knotts charmingly referred to Republican gubernatorial candidate Nikki Haley as a "f*cking raghead" during an internet political radio show taped in a bar. Knotts told Free Times reporter Corey Hutchins that he believed Haley was a Sikh Manchurian candidate programmed to run for governor of South Carolina adding:

"We got a raghead in Washington; we don't need one in South Carolina."

I believe this guy is considered sane, polite and quite the liberal in South Carolina.

American Patriots OK With Israel Killing Americans

According to the NYT:

One of the nine people killed in an Israeli commando raid on a flotilla of ships heading for Gaza this week was a United States citizen of Turkish descent.

So Israel can still kill Americans without so much as a "no fair" from a US establishment determined to kiss Zionist ass? And what's more, the wingnut super patriots will even slap down our own president if ever he dares to criticize any aspect of Israeli policy?

So how do the wingnuts reconcile a foreign government killing a US citizen with their own uncompromisingly pro-America stance? Easy. Deny the validity of the victim's citizenship. As usual, demonize the victim when your own bigotries and false-flag allegiances make blaming the aggressor too tricky a proposition.

Really, why do conservatives hate America? Because they love Israel soooo much more.

Gay Uncle Tom?

I'm not gay and I think Elton John sucks anyway but I can't help being offended that he's playing Rush Limbaugh's wedding. Page2Live says Limp-baugh, one of America's most high-profile gay haters, is reportedly paying him more than $1 million.

No, gay Uncle Tom is not just the life-long bachelor who turns up at family reunions wearing Versace shirts.

Bad News For 'Baggers

According to researchers at the Pew Research Center, interracial marriages are at an all time high and a full 85% of 18-29-year-olds are cool with that. You can almost smell the fear-based anger wafting from the right...

Bin Laden's Trillion Dollar Anchor Baby

As of May 30, America's wars in Iraq and Afghanistan passed a major milestone: 1,000 US troops killed and $1 trillion spent.

Obviously, 'fiscal' conservatives and feral 'baggers would have no problem with these wasted lives or the wasted money. Whilst they'd begrudge cities like Denver a few tax bucks to keep the street lights on, one trillion blown on war? Fine and dandy.

But there's a horrible truth conservatives fail to grasp: while seeking a monopoly on patriotism they, ironically, have handed al Qaeda victory in the 'War on Terror'. Bin Laden's stated aim on 9-11 was to provoke "The Great Satan" into a pointless and costly war. Says Marc McDonald at OpEd News:

Bin Laden ... saw first-hand how the Soviet Union met its demise. As bin Laden said in a 2004 statement, "We, alongside the mujahedeen, bled Russia for 10 years until it went bankrupt and was forced to withdraw in defeat." It's clear that the main goal of the 9/11 attacks was to provoke the U.S. into a costly war in Afghanistan that would drain our treasury and ultimately weaken the main lever of America's global power and influence: the U.S. dollar. Unfortunately for America, after 9/11, Bush took bin Laden's bait.

Nearly a decade on, we have a sunken economy, we're a trillion in the hole and we're stuck in not one, but two pointless wars. So show me a conservative patriot, and I'll show you a dumbsh*t unwittingly working for the man. And that man is Osama bin Laden. But of course, I'd be the anti-American to them. Ain't life odd?

Catholicism: What's That All About?

It's very difficult to like anything about the Catholic church. Historical tidbits like the Inquisition, Indian genocide, complicity with Italian fascism and keeping schtum on the holocaust aren't very endearing.

So there should be nothing surprising about them excommunicating a nun for approving an abortion that saved a mother's life. This kind of misanthropy fits in well with forbidding condoms in AIDS-ravaged Africa and the continuing policy of protecting priests who rape and torture kids.

I don't want to get all old-school persecutory, but the fact that the Supreme Court sports a Catholic majority - judges theoretically beholden to the Vatican whatever our secular constitution may say - is a tad troubling.

All Hail The Megacorp!

BP CEO Tony Hayward: Master of his domain

As the Gulf continues to fill with crude and the gunk threatens to hit Florida's tourist trap beaches by the weekend, I'm astounded (as always) by America's ever-forgiving attitude to big business.

'Big' is the operative word because we don't really give a sh*t about small businesses - or even larger businesses - that are owned and operated in this country. Nope. The only businesses we love are multinational and the bigger the better.

Imagine if BP had been a family restaurant instead of an earth-raping megacorp. Imagine if a couple of customers had got sick - maybe a roach spotted in the kitchen. They'd have been shut down faster than a CAIR speaker at a Tea Party. But as it is, BP gets to kill 11 employees, poison three states' coasts, destroy local economies and put people's health at risk for decades to come. Are they shut down? Nope. Are they put in jail? Nope. All that happens is some vague talk of possible criminal investigations and maybe some fines.

So next time you see BP CEO Tony Hayward whine about how America's biggest environmental disaster ever is impacting his vacation schedule, don't get mad. Just wonder at the preternatural tolerance we have for corporate crime that still allows Hayward to roam the gulf coast without getting lynched from the nearest oil-sodden tree. We get what we ask for.

Milkshake War Crimes

McDonald's large Triple Thick Chocolate Shake came in third on Mens Health's list of America's most unhealthy drinks at 1,160 calories. But way out on top was the Cold Stone PB&C milkshake, made with peanut butter, chocolate icecream and milk. It contains 68 grams of saturated fat and 153 grams of sugar - the equivalent of ingesting 68 strips of bacon.

We're already living in a sea of waddling, wheezing freaks... a nation of 11-year-old diabetics and people too fat to live. Hey, Cold Stone, why not just start shooting people in the face instead? It would probably be more humane.

Random Picture of The Day

After tropical storm Agatha passed through Guatemala City the other day, this giant sinkhole swallowed up a multi-story building. Like... f*ck!

Random Moving Picture of The Day...

I lived in California a while back and, trust me, California's reputation as the sh*t driving capital of the world is entirely deserved. Good drivers there are thinner on the ground than flamboyant gays in Mississippi. But our part of north Texas definitely has more than its fair share of spectacular wrecks despite the fact that people drive better here. Hey, if you're gonna f*ck up, do it well.

(BTW, Anyone who knows me personally will now know, thanks to my wife, that I'm the guy who drove a 4-Wheeler into a water moccasin-infested pond on Sunday so I'm really not one to talk.)

Consider Yourself on Tenterhooks

Smoosh-faced evangelical mo Ted Haggard - he of the meth and man whore binges back in 2006 - is making a big announcement tomorrow:

Tomorrow at 12:30 EST, he will make an announcement about the next step in his career from his home in Colorado Springs.

My money's on him taking over as leather guy in a Village People tribute band.

Really, does this self-important bozo not realize the only people who'd give a sh*t about his 'announcement' are people like me who just want more reasons to laugh at him? You go, Ted!