Random Picture of the Day Also...

Via Afrojacks, another great example of the Internet's unique ability to disseminate your shame to a worldwide audience. Forever. And who could forget $17 gangsta boy?

Socialist Jesus

I guy called Whammer makes a good point when he takes issue with Christianist wingnut talk radio-er Janet Parshall:

"I got to thinking, and opened my Bible to the Acts of the Apostles, where it is written that after Christ ascended: "...many wonders and signs were done by the apostles. And all that believed were together, and had all things in common; And sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need." Acts 2: 43-45.

That sounds like a socialist collective to me. So who am I to believe - Janet Parshall when she says 'socialism' is evil, or the apostles who actually walked with Christ?"

Socialist Jesus? Easier to imagine than Rush Limbaugh's kinda Jesus for whom everything, including healthcare, is a commodity accessible to only those with sufficient means irrespective of need. The quality of mercy is not strained... unless you can't pay for it.

Random Picture of the Day Too...

I'm not big on Facebook. But it's fascinating how so many people seem to live their entire lives via a freakin' Web site. Do they forget that posts are public and their private lives are open for ridicule by everyone on the planet?

Random Picture of the Day

Not sure what it means, but why not?

Happy Holidays!

This 45-year-old man dressed as an elf and lined up to see Santa at Southlake Mall in Atlanta. When he got to the front, he told Santa he was carrying dynamite. The mall was evacuated and he faces several charges, including having hoax devices and making terroristic threats.

Must be an Elf Qaeda extremist. Cue a Bill O'Reilly "war on Christmas" rant...

Batsh*t Crazy Stupid Bitch

Orly Taitz: batsh*t crazy stupid bitch

Orly Taitz is to the American legal system what a plutonium enema is to a healthy digestive tract. She's a one-women army of demented idiocy who makes Glenn Beck look like Noam Chomsky. Jeez, does she ever shut her dumb mouth?

Here's her latest shot across the bows of the Obama administration:

"There will be actions in International Courts to expose the violation of Human rights by Obama regime, the tyranny of the Communist Kenyan usurper Barack Hussein Obama and ones who are aiding and abetting him."

I understand we have a First Amendment and that loons like Taitz should be given enough rope to hang themselves. But isn't she providing a textbook example of the legal definition of sedition right here?

But it's also true that the more Taitz voices her opinions, the more those opinions are demonstrated to be false by virtue of her still being able to voice them. So long may she yap.

News Bait 'N' Switch

The Bait: Britney Spears in old-model Chevy van cruising school zone with box of puppies?


The Switch: Nope. Put in the missing "as"... story goes dull and depressing. Thanks Gawker!

Fat & Broke? You Might Just Be a Red Stater

Here's the top 10 conspicuously red fattest and poorest states. (Sources: 1 2)


And the top ten skinniest and wealthiest states...


Spin it, conservatives, spin it...

Praying For Orly Taitz

Spot the Orly Taitz supporter...

I know, I know... picking on Dr. Orly Taitz Esquire is like shooting paraplegic fish in a tiny barrel with a bazooka. But this prayer by one of her minions posted on her blog is worth mention:

"Dr. Taitz is perhaps the most courageous woman in these here United States. She is the only one who has the guts to continue her fight, even though the judges and the court system is corrupt and being paid off by the Hussein administration. I pray for Dr. Taitz every night before I go to sleep. God tells me that everything will be OK in the end. Our African president will be in Jail and the Constitution will be validated. My prayer:

“Sweet Jesus I beseech you to listen to my humble prayer. Protect Dr. Orly Taitz and keep her from harm. She is doing your work here on earth. For thine is the kingdom of heavent, etc., etc.”

We are with you 120%!!"

Sweet Jesus indeed. As a sidenote, here's a list of other words besides 'Heaven' that Taitz fans can't spell (or non-existent words they can spell) as evidenced by the first post on her homepage:

diobolical, postpondment, decison, intrest, resovle, Prospartity, internationl, discuise, inteligence, compasion, outstnding, incredable, tourch, becan

This breaks down to one out of every 29 words misspelled. I know conservatives are morally opposed to Spellcheck, but this must be some kind of record.

Are Freepers Self-Trolling?

Once upon a time, it was possible to troll Free Republic. For example, last year I logged on as a fake Freeper and trolled that the RNC were considering Don King to run for president to counter Obama's 'black power'. Sadly, not even the real Freepers were crazy enough to get behind that idea - though no-one called BS on my 'fact'.

But now? It seems that every other comment on there is so far-out it could easily have been planted by liberal trolls to make conservatives look stupider. I challenge you... read these comments about 'Obamacare' and see if you can tell if they're for real:


Just who are 'the anal sex crowd'? Are fat people now a conservative block? WTF???

If Truth Has a Liberal Bias, Bullsh*t Has a Conservative Smell

Don't know about you, but I'd believe anything this guy has to say.

Them righties really love their ridiculous chain emails and it doesn't matter how far-fetched, how outrageous or how instantly debunkable they are. They love 'em because they are precious 'facts' that the liberal MSM (such as Fox News) would never report.

We've had the 'Psst... Didja know Obama's a Muslim?' chain. We've had the 'Psst... Didja know Obama's a Kenyan?' chain. Now we have the 'Terrorist Hijacking Dry Run' chain. And it's as demonstrably and stupidly untrue as ever was a wingnut meme.

The email is supposed to be first person reportage by Tedd Petruna, a recent passenger on AirTran Airways Flight 297, that details how "11 Muslim men got on the plane in full attire" and conducted a hijacking dry run before being overpowered by our hero with the help of other proactive patriots.

According to the Free Republic mentalists, the "story has not made headlines and may never be told by the lying media" but "the information has been verified." Err... not exactly.

Acording to AirTran Tedd Petruna was not even on the flight and the only thing that happened was that flight attendants had some trouble getting a 'Spanish speaking man' to stop using his cell phone. According to AirTran "There are no reports of any passenger standing up in a threatening manner... At no time was there any physical altercation between passengers."

Of course that doesn't stop Free Republic or Glenn Beck's nutty Project 912 trying to pass it off as true. And the conspiracy nuts at Above Top Secret say ths story is confirmed (in block caps of course) because they called Petrina and he said so. Say they:

"Looks like Air Tran, The FAA, Homeland Security, and the MSM (by virture of their lack of coverage of this story) are trying to sweep a recent dry run for a terrorist attack under the rug."

That's a lot of sweeping. But totally believable. Ahem.

Hey Stupids, Stop Calling Andrew Sullivan Stupid

Andrew Sullivan might be incongruously Republican on many issues. But as a "thinking man's conservative" he invariably plays a fast brain and presents sound, compelling opinions on his 'Daily Dish' blog.

But because Sullivan is no Sarah Palin fan and often expresses frustration with the conservative movement's ongoing slide into slack-jawed insanity, conservatives are very quick to call him 'stupid' or 'ignorant' because that's what they do when anyone rattles their cage.

This wingnut reflex to label people like Sullivan as stupid is extremely irritating. Mostly because it's the people throwing around the epithets who are the most indisputably stupid in any match-up. These blathering nutjobs might think they're William F. Buckley because they've caught a few episodes of the Glenn Beck show or listened to Limbaugh on the way to work. But retards who believe in FEMA camps, Death Panels, Birtherism, Marxist and/or Muslim Obama and dumbass 'Jesus-rode-dinosaurs' religious literalism should not be calling people like Andrew Sullivan stupid. WTF???

Just to prove the above, check out this denunciation of Sullivan at Riehl World:

"Get a sex change, or at least start wearing Red outfits and high heels around the house playing Sarah dress-up for yourself and whatever gutter trash you can round up at the local adult book store. You look like an aging queen on her knees at some gloryhole waiting for a miraculous birth certificate to be slipped in from the next stall so you can engage your latest perversion until you climax all over yourself."

Yes, Riehl World conservative intellectuals, that sounds totally non-stupid and non-ignorant.

Random Picture of the Day

Gotta love this dumb invention for sale at Amazon. Love the sarcastic customer reviews even more!

The Barack Obama Electerator - Repost

Inspired by Obama's dwindling approval ratings and the very large racist elephant in the room... Let's play with Photoshop and Flash! (Reposting as it was a butt-load of work and I want to make the most of it...)

Glenn Beck Live Flops

"Last night, Fox News host Glenn Beck premiered his new live show based on his book The Christmas Sweater, which was simulcast to hundreds of movie theaters across the country... Despite heavy promotion on Beck’s radio and TV shows, and in-theater trailers, ticket sales were weak in major cities: Beck sold only 17 tickets in Boston, another 17 in New York, and just 30 in Washington, DC."

Beck Live a flop? There seems to be some sanity left in the world. And some things left to laugh about.

Random Picture of the Day

An old favorite...

Obama Admin Continues to Flunk Balls Test

Harry Reid flailing in Nevada... Hey, Obama, how 'bout we break out some moves now?

In a new Mason-Dixon poll of Nevada voters out today, Harry Reid has only a 38% approval rating and is losing in hypothetical match-ups with both leading contenders for the Republican nomination.

If the Obama admin still needs convincing that they're stubbornly following the wrong tack, this should definitely be it. I'm not ready to slam Obama as "Blackface Bush" as many libs already are, but I am just as frustrated with the glaring absence of promised 'hope and change'. 'Hope' has left the building because 'change' never showed up. What has Obama's otherwise admirable dedication to bipartisanship, compromise and due process achieved in near enough one year? Absolutely f*** all is what.

And so Harry Reid may now find himself the first high-profile victim of Obama's failed strategy of plowing the middle ground when the middle ground no longer exists. We are living in desperate times and, just as there are 'no atheists in foxholes', there are no middle-of-the-roaders in a crisis. All Obama has done is piss off his base, energize the wingnuts and achieved nothing in the process except make teabagger totems like Palin and Beck popular because at least they promise action (however ill-advised and thoroughly bad) over inertia.

If the whole healthcare farce, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the economy, etc., etc., had been handled differently with bold moves not compromised-to-death pieces of crap policy that don't please anybody, Harry Reid would probably still be electable and Obama would not be stuck playing defense. We voted for action. We got nothing. In short, Obama has failed. Next...

Rick Warren Refuses To Condemn Death Penalty For Homos

When asked whether or not he approves of Uganda's efforts to bring in the death penalty for gay 'repeat offenders', Warren said:

"It is not my personal calling as a pastor in America to comment or interfere in the political process of other nations."

Through his weasely obfuscation Warren proves how taking as 'liberal' a stance as disapproving of killing gays is a dangerous move for an American evangelical megapastor these days.

Be afraid. Very afraid. The dipsh*t followers Warren prefers not to alienate are not in Afghanistan or the medieval regions of Pakistan. They are Americans. And they get to vote.

Pastor J. Grant A-Hole

Pastor J. Grant Swank paints a picture of a brewing apocalypse between the forces of good and evil. But Swank seems to believe in some kind of weird reverse exegesis where the bigger the liar, the more self-serving the hypocrite, the holier is the person. Good to Swank, therefore, is represented by conservatives. Bad is the province of anyone who still believes in the separation of church and insanity.

In his latest diatribe, Swank refers to Obama as a 'cancer sore' and says "Palin is the antithesis to Obama. Palin represents a biblical way of life. Obama represents a satanic cult."

For the millionth time, can't we just start ignoring our fascist hillbillies and the dribbling f*ckwits who listen to them in the hope that they'll just go away? There is no debate in America. There is rational and there is dumb.

I don't care if you call yourself a secessionist, a teabagger, an evangelical or a libertarian. You are a dumb a**hole and you need to vacate the grown-up table and go spar wits with the toddlers. Self-aggrandizing bigotry and infantile fantasies about small government cannot be viewed as arguments meriting debate. So just f*ck off and take your lunatic pastors with you.

Random Picture of the Day

Oops...

The Next Conservative Party Candidate?

And you thought Joe The Plumber was as low as we could go?

I'm sure Palin's quaking in her wolfskin moon boots at this... "Obama-nemesis" and disabled gay ex-con Larry Sinclair is running for office as U.S. Congressman for Florida's 24th Congressional District.

Sinclair is famous for claiming he once had 'homo sex' and smoked crack with Obama - a claim so spastic even Fox News wouldn't give it house room during the 2008 campaign (although some Free Rep nutjobs still seem to be taking Sinclair seriously).

The best part is the 'About Larry' page on his site. How many other candidates can boast a slogan as cool as "I have served my time, now it's time I serve my Country"? From his bio:

"I have criminal convictions between 1981 thru 1986 for "Theft" based on writing bad checks; "Forgery" for signing former Youth Counselors names to checks, and "Unauthorized use of a Financial Transaction Device" from using a credit card number by phone to pay a hotel stay in 1986."

So far, Sinclair has raised $308.90 and has zero endorsements. Paging the Conservative party...

Multiculturalism: American Style

They say America's the most pluralistic, multicultural society on earth. But spare a thought for those non-pluralistic, monocultural types who have to endure living here through clenched teeth and bulging arteries. Here's an unintentionally hilarious email to Pastor J. Grant Swank, Jr.:

“I thought I would let everyone know that I took a deer into **** Meats in Fishers, Indiana on Friday after Thanksgiving. It is the same place I have taken deer for 20 years. They told me they couldn’t take my deer today because it was a Muslim holiday and the Muslims were in the BACK SACRIFICING GOATS TO ALLAH. I repeated back to her slowly and in a shocked tone what she had just said to me. Then I told her: ‘Shame on you for putting your customers on the back burner and the American Hunter to the side while the people we are at WAR with practice their religion in the back of your building hidden from public eye.’ I left. My deer and my business.

Will now go to **** Deer processing at **** Middletown, Indiana 47356. It’s not that far away. Please let all the people know about this. If I wouldn’t have gone to jail I would have gone back to spit on the floor in front of the Muslims and draw my weapon. This is America. Let’s keep it.”

I'm sure this good 'Merikun complainer would imagine people subscribe to different religions and customs just to annoy him. I'm sure he'd assume liberals have no such travails to endure because we don't complain. But that really isn't the case.

I have no idea what said 'Merikun would imagine as a liberal equivalent to his deer processing disappointment. Maybe bringing in home-fermented tofu for blessing by a shaman at the wholefood co-op and being told no because lesbians were doing a wheat grass festival in the back? I'm not sure. But as a liberal, if I did experience such a scenario, I might sigh frustratedly, maybe roll my eyes... but I'd just come back tomorrow. I wouldn't react like a giant, spoiled baby with white power 'roid rage and spitefully try to screw someone else's livelihood because they don't share my irrational prejudices. Jeez.

Random Picture of the Day

Is paraprosdokian 1980s comdian Emo Philips now robbing banks? (Via banknotes365.com)

American Taliban at Work

Evangelical nutjob Scott Lively preaching death to queers - that lesser known tenet of Christianity.

In March there was a seminar in Uganda to "expose the truth behind homosexuality and the homosexual agenda" which featured US evangelists Scott Lively, Don Schmierer and Caleb Lee Brundidge as main speakers.

Now, under a bill currently before Uganda's parliament, there could be mandatory life sentences for Ugandans convicted of having gay sex. There could also be the death penalty for anyone "if the accused person is HIV positive or a serial offender, or a person of authority over the other partner, or if the "victim" is under 18."

Next time mainstream American pols embark on the Rovian quest to pander to the Evangelical block, they might want to ponder how wise it is to encourage these Jesus fascists and give credibility to those who dream of an American Taliban-style theocracy. They might also want to go one step further and recognize that the term 'evangelical Christian' is not so much an oxymoron but a blasphemous assault on intelligence and decency.

Scott Lively is president of Defend the Family International, a conservative Christian association and part of Abiding Truth Ministries, Don Schmierer works with "homosexual recovery groups", and Lee Brundidge is a "sexual reorientation coach" at the International Healing Foundation. May these pea-brained, closeted psychotics all go f*ck themselves in as non-gay a manner as they'd prefer.